An Emotional Transition - Life after being a full-time mom

The other day I took this mug out of the dishwasher and started bawling...

 because I didn't see these beautiful young ladies.

Photo by Gabrielle Handwerk

 Those grins made me think of these little girls who used to play and giggle as they ran through our home.

Photo by Dan Blackwood

The little blond is a college freshman and the brown-haired sweetie will graduate from college and get married in the spring.

This all left me wondering...

what's next for me.

I've been a full time mom for almost twenty five years. We home schooled for nine of those. The years when there were four (these cuties have an older brother and sister) little ones around my legs all wanting my attention at once were the most fulfilling years of my life so far. I was tired most of the time, and there were days that I wanted to quit, but my days were filled with purpose and joy. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing what I was made to do. 

And now as our house empties, I wonder where I am to pour all of the energy that went into nurturing and training our children.

Then that still small voice reminded me that my husband would love more of my time and attention. We have a good marriage and have worked to make time for each other, but it isn't the same as before kids. Then there are the friends who I've always longed to spend more time with. God will lead me if I trust Him to show me the way. 

And so I wept for:

 days gone by and the sweet little girls and boy who take part of me with them as they go,

and for the love in our daughter and her fiances eyes and a wedding that will give us another wonderful son,

and for joy as I look at who our children are and consider how God will use them to change their worlds,

and with fear as I wonder what employer will be willing to take a chance on a fifty plus year old whose only experience is managing our home and home school,

 and with  anticipation as I wait to see where God will call me next.

All of this makes me think of this quote:

E.E. Cummings

 I have more questions than answers right now, but I will trust that God has a plan and wait patiently (or sometimes not so patiently) to see where He leads.

Always Loved

Our small group is studying 3:16 by Max Lucado. We are enjoying going back to one of the first verses most of us memorized and revisiting some basic truths.

“For God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

Last night we looked at the permanence of this promise. Once we are God’s, we are always His.

He says:

No one can snatch us out of His hand. (John 10:28)

Nothing can separate us from His love. (Romans 8:35-39)

He will never leave us. (Hebrews 13:5)

Why does God remind us so often that His love is unconditional and eternal?

One answer was: “Because He knows us.”

The next was: “Because we are feeble and fickle”

We hear so clearly the voices of the past and of Satan telling us we are not good enough. We feel our own insecurity and doubt that a perfect God could love the mess we are. I started thinking about why those are the voices we hear instead of the voice of our Daddy telling us we are loved and have just the personality and abilities we need to become all He has planned for us. I think we miss God’s voice because He speaks to the innermost part of our souls in a whisper. Our world is so full of noise and distractions and our lives are so busy that we can’t hear the sweet voice of our Savior. Isn’t it more meaningful to have someone sit next to us and speak quietly in intimate conversation, than to shout across a crowded room?

God loves you more than you will ever know. He longs for you to quiet yourself and cuddle up next to Him so He can talk with you. Will you take a few minutes to be alone, open His word and let Him speak to you through it?

Mom's BBQ

Growing up in Delaware we didn't eat real pulled pork, or beef. I thought Mom's version was the real thing. I was disappointed when I first had pulled pork. I still prefer Mom's.  I think of her every time I take my leftover bits and pieces of meat and simmer them with barbecue sauce.

Really, it's that easy. When I have a leftover piece of chicken or beef or pork that sits in the refrigerator for a few days, you know the ones -too big to throw away, but too small to do anything with - I wrap it up and put it in the freezer. A gallon size bag keeps all of them together. When there is enough for a meal, I put the frozen meat in a saucepan with a few tablespoons of water and some BBQ sauce and simmer it for several hours. The slow cooker would probably be perfect for this, but I always do it the way Mom did. After a while you can start to shred the meat as you stir it. And you need to stir it occasionally. The sugar in the sauce makes it easy to burn. (I guess the slow cooker would solve that problem.) I frequently make my sauce these days, but there is always a bottle of store bought in the pantry just in case.

I remember putting pickle slices on the sandwiches when we were growing up. I married a southern boy, so now I make Cole slaw for our sandwiches. French fries are a classic side and they frequently are served here too. Though those are almost always frozen.